


feel again

by freedomatsea



Series: Hell's Kitchen Universe Pieces [18]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, PWP, Smut, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:38:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomatsea/pseuds/freedomatsea
Summary: A snow storm makes Frank seek out a warm place to stay.





	

The warehouse he squatted in wasn't exactly climate controlled. In the summer it wasn't too bad. It got a little warm around mid-day, but the evenings were usually cool. As fall faded into winter and a usual evening dipped below twenty, he found his living situation to be more unbearable than expected. He was a man made to withstand blazing desert days and cold sandy nights, but it wasn't fair to Max to make him deal with it too.

It wasn't like he could just  _ rent _ an apartment for the winter. People would know who he was. He didn't need that sort of mess. The Punisher was still laying low. 

The snow was starting to stick the evening he climbed the fire escape with Max cradled against his chest, tucked partially into his heavy coat. Max was a lot like him, he didn't let his discomfort show, but the way the dog pressed against him, seeking heat said a lot. Even if this didn't pan out for him, maybe Max would have a warm place to stay. 

He watched from the window for a few long moments. Karen was in there, moving around her apartment like any typical evening. She had a warm mug of coffee or maybe cocoa in her hand, her hair was tied up in a loose bun, and she had her nose buried in what appeared to be a rough draft of an article.

She wasn't expecting him. 

In fact, when he rapped on the window and she saw his looming figure in the swirling darkness of snow she looked like she'd seen a ghost. Goddamn he’d missed her. He had no right to either.

“What the hell?” Karen hissed as she unlocked her window. “Get in here before someone sees you.”

Her anger was half the reason he missed her. Frank let Max in first, before he clambered inside, snow sliding off his clothes and leaving wet spots on her hardwood floor. “Sorry.”

“It’s  _ fine _ .” She said tersely, focusing her attention on Max. Karen led the pit bull into her kitchen, putting down a bowl of water beside the counter for him. “There's a good boy. I have some leftover chicken I bet you'd like.”

“ _ Shit _ Karen.” Frank laughed. “Don't spoil him.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to keep this casual, simple. “Your place good with dogs?”

Karen’s eyes lifted to his face briefly before she busied herself with cutting up chicken for Max. “Yeah. They don't mind.” 

“Good. I need you to watch Max for me.”

“Is something going to happen to you?” The worry in her voice nearly broke his heart. 

“Nah.” He shrugged. “But he can't do the cold no more.”

“And you can?” Karen’s brows knit together. “Where are you living these days, Frank?”

“A warehouse down by the Hudson in Brooklyn.” Frank admitted. “It's not ideal but the snow doesn't get in.” He crossed his arms across his chest, letting out a heavy sigh. “You mind making me a cup of joe before I depart?”

“ _ Depart _ ?” Karen gave a huff-like laugh. “You're not going back out in that tonight.” She nodded towards the window and sighed, shaking her head. 

Frank didn't say anything else to that. He had come here hoping she'd offer her place up to him, but now he wanted to say no. He should say no. Staying here wasn't a good idea. Not when Karen made him feel  _ alive  _ (in more than one way). That was wrong. Wanting her was wrong. Mostly because he figured how could she want him too? 

He studied her as she busied herself with making them a pot of coffee. He made a note of all the ways she moved, the way she rose up on her toes to get a mug from her cabinet, the way she idly patted Max’s head when he put his paws up on her hip for attention.

“I'm gonna have to refuse your offer, ma’am.” Frank said as she passed him his mug. The cup was warm as he curled his hands around it, savoring the way it was too hot and burned him a little. “I'm too damn old to sleep on a sofa. Bad back.”

“Is that why you're saying no?”

_ Damn _ . She was good. “Karen…”

“Don't  _ Karen  _ me.” She bit back. “Do you think this is fair to me? You and I go our separate ways and then you show up on my fire escape in the middle of a snow storm because you want me to watch your dog?  _ Bullshit _ .” That flare of temper in her did things to him that he'd never admit. How fucked up was it that his cock stirred when Karen was unleashing her wrath on him?

“It ain't like that Karen. You're the only safe place in New York for me. I don't care much about myself, but I do care about Max and this cold ain't fair to him.” Frank leaned back against the kitchen counter. “I’m not gonna ruin this.” 

“I’ll take the sofa then. You can have my bed.” 

“There’s a mattress with my name on it back in Brooklyn.” Frank took a sip of his coffee, rolling his shoulders easily. He was trying to play this all close to the chest. As much as he wanted to stay. As much as he’d come here hoping she’d offer. He knew he couldn’t. He wanted too much. He wanted  _ her _ . He wanted to sleep in her bed, but not alone. He wanted to sleep on her sofa with her curled up on his chest. It was all things he couldn’t have.

“Dammit Frank.” Karen fixed him with a menacing look that didn’t fit her features at all. But it still sent a shiver down his spine that had nothing to do with the cold. “You deserve to be out of the cold. That’s a blizzard out there. Why would you want to go back out there and sleep in a goddamn warehouse when you could be right  _ here _ ?”

Frank sat his coffee cup down on the counter with calculated movement. Was he going to own up to the fact he couldn’t stay because of her? Because if he stayed something was bound to happen that they’d both regret. “Karen, it ain’t… It ain’t that simple.” He sighed, raking a hand over his cheek and through his hair, shaking loose the snow dampened strands.

“I didn't say it was. But I don't see why you're torturing yourself.”

“A little snow won't kill me, ma’am. It's better than the desert. At least you can get warm.”

Karen looked away from him, shaking her head. “Then go. Be cold. Alone. I'll watch your dog. Hopefully he wants to be around me. I have articles to write. I don't need the distraction.”

Frank frowned. He'd made her mad. He'd hurt her. That wasn't what he wanted. The last thing, actually. “Do you not see why it's a problem, Karen? Why I shouldn't stay.”

“I get it.” Karen said, whirling around to face him, her eyes a little redder than before. “And it's stupid. We’re both adults. It wouldn't be the end of the world…”

“I'm not a good man, Karen. I can't give you anything. I'm not looking to ruin you.” He sighed heavily, looking away. “The Punisher doesn't do attachments.”

“The Punisher doesn't but… Can't you just be Frank? Just stay. Enjoy. Let yourself enjoy one night like a normal man.”

“I'm not a normal man.” Frank pinched the bridge of his nose. “I haven't been for a long time.” 

Karen was a quick moving woman. She stepped towards him and reached up and took his face in her hands, making him look down at her. “You  _ can _ be a normal man, if you’d just let yourself live for a few minutes.” 

Frank shied away from her touch. He tried to do it gently too, but he still saw the flash of pain on her face. “Karen, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here at all. I shouldn’t have brought myself back into your life. That wasn’t fair by you.”

“I wanted you in my life. Karen insisted, grounding herself in her spot. “There’s been countless days I wished I could see you again. What's not fair to me is that you turn up here and drop your dog off for me to watch and expect me not to care about you too.” She crossed her arms across her chest. 

God he really was fucked up because she was… something else when she got like this. 

“I wanted to ask you to let me stay,” Frank admitted quietly. “But now that I'm here… I realize it might be a mistake. I don't want to do wrong by you.”

“Well you're not doing right by me either.” Karen gritted out. He hated this. He wished he could turn back time and decide against coming there because  _ fuck _ if it wasn't a bad mood.

“What do you want from me Karen?”

Her lashes fluttered and she looked away, hugging her arms around herself tighter. “ _ You _ . And it's stupid. It's wrong. I know this. I know that I should be repulsed by you. That the hands of a murderer on me should make me sick. But none of it does. None of it matters to me. Frank Castle matters to me though.”

Frank caved. 

For a man trained to withstand IEDS, machine guns, and the worst warfare a man could see, he was absolute shit at standing against Karen Page. There was something about knowing that she  _ cared _ about him that flipped some switch in his brain and it set him off. 

Honestly, he expected her to shove him away, but she didn’t.  _ She didn’t _ . He pulled her to his chest and crushed his mouth against hers as she kissed him back. Karen Page  _ kissed _ him back. She kissed him back like she’d been waiting for him to make the move. And as much as he wanted it to feel wrong, so he had a solid excuse to pull away and say  _ no _ , it didn’t. It felt right. 

_ Fuck _ . 

Karen fit against him, soft curves against hard edges. It had been a long time since he felt anything like that. Since Maria. Since his wife. Since that life that felt like a distant dream like memory. She kissed like she did everything else; with a desperate edge of determination. He could only imagine what it would be like to have her riding his cock with that same determination. 

Frank pulled back from the kiss, breathing raggedly. “ _ Karen _ .” 

“This is the part where you vanish into the snowy streets right?” Karen’s voice wavered, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck and it made it difficult to concentrate. This was wrong, right? Or was it right? It felt right. Karen felt right. She’d always been the most right part of his life. 

“I don’t want to go.” Frank told her, his own voice coming out a little unsurely. “It’s cold as shit in that warehouse and it’ll be lonely.” He swallowed thickly, feeling heat burning his cheeks all the way to his ears. “And… I’ve missed you.” 

He’d be liar if he said he’d never seen this coming. He’d definitely spent a few lonely nights thinking about it. He always felt ashamed afterwards. Karen’s name on his lips as his seed spilled out over his fist. 

Karen’s brows rose upwards. “You’ve missed me?” She kissed him again, curling her hand around the back of his head, rising up on her toes to kiss him deeply. She was the one that pushed it into more. Her tongue was teasing his lips, urging them to part, and when they did her tongue tangled with his. Desperate determination. 

Frank honestly didn’t know how they got from the kitchen to her bed, but somehow they did. There was a good chance all of that walking fell away when her hand found its way to his bulge. There was definitely very little blood in his  _ head _ at that point. 

“ _ Frank _ .” Karen moaned wantonly as he laid her back on the bed. One of the first things he’d done was take down that messy bun of hers and he loved the way her hair fanned out on the pillow behind her. She looked like a goddess. An angel. 

His hands were rough and calloused, a sharp contrast with the smooth skin beneath his fingers. He drew her t-shirt off her body, pleased to find that he’d been right. She didn’t even have a bra on. Of course she didn’t. He’d interrupted her nightly routine of winding down for the day. That’s what normal people did, right? 

She was better than anything he could have ever imagined. He half expected to wake up unconscious and half-frozen in a ditch somewhere. It was almost too good to be true. 

He could be just as desperately determined as she could be. And he was. His mouth and hands worked over her breasts, paying to them all the attention they deserved. His tongue swirled around her nipple as his hand palmed the unattended breast. She arched her back up off the bed, her hips rocking against the bulge in his trousers that she kept torturing. Her hand had been bad enough, but to feel the rock and roll of her against him was enough to make him almost lose himself. 

It had been awhile. But that was no excuse. He fucking refused to blow his load in his pants before he even got her shorts off. What was he? A teenage boy who got off on fondling a woman’s breasts for a few minutes?  _ Fuck _ . 

Frank caught her hips with his freehand to keep her steady, putting a little space between them as he started to kiss lower, his tongue dipping out. He wanted to take his time with her, to savor every inch of her, but now wasn’t the time for that. 

It wasn’t like he was going to be venturing out into that snow any time soon. They had all night and maybe the morning. He should have said no. Now he was sitting there rationalizing reasons to stay longer. To spend the night, the morning, the afternoon, repeat. He had a life out there to lead and Karen didn’t fit into it. She could, but she wouldn’t. She was too good for him and his darkness was going to taint her light. 

“I can’t…” Frank whispered and his own words broke his heart. It wasn’t even the look on her face that did it for him, it was the fact that he was tearing into himself just to prove that he  _ wasn’t _ capable of this anymore. He felt like he was suffocating. There was a pressure weighing down on his chest and it was liable to do him in. “I’m sorry.” 

He pulled away from her, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, moving to sit on the edge. Frank raked his hands over his face, trying to pull himself back together again, because he  _ literally _ felt like he was coming apart at the seams. His mind was reeling. Of all the things to think of after he’d just had Karen Page, topeless, whispering his name was picturing her riddled with bullet holes, dead because someone used her to get to him. 

That was one way to kill a boner. 

“I gotta go.” 

Karen was faster than him. Putting her thin frame between him and the doorway. If he were a brute, he could have just pushed past her, but he had manners. Limited manners, because manners weren’t getting up in the midst of initiating sex. But he wasn’t right in the head. That was his excuse. He’d lost everything, had a bullet lodged in his brain, and he slept on a half-rotting mattress in a warehouse because he was a goddamn coward on top of all of it.

He could have Karen. He could have a few fleeting moments of happiness in between gunning down crooks. But he wouldn’t let himself be content with that. He’d come up with a million excuses about how it was  _ bad _ . How he was robbing Karen of a  _ good _ life. 

“Frank why are you doing this to yourself?” Karen questioned, her arms crossed across her chest because otherwise it was hard to take her seriously when she was shirtless. Mostly because he wanted to return to what he’d been doing. That had to be that human part of him, that part of him that still craved human interaction, that still craved intimacy, warmth, comfort. He’d almost forgotten what all of that felt like. For what he did by day and night, forgetting all of that was good. 

Because he knew what it felt like to lose all of that. 

“I have to.” He admitted to her, letting out a ragged breath he’d been holding. “I’m not the sort of man that you deserve, Karen.” 

Karen narrowed her eyes. “I don’t give a rat’s ass about the sort of man you think I deserve. I know the sort of man I want. He’s standing in front of me right now.” She dropped her arms from her chest, stepping closer to him. “I didn’t know Frank Castle was a coward.” 

She’d hit the nail on the head. His fingers curled into fists at his side and he took a step back. “ _ Karen _ … If I’m a coward, then I’m a coward because I don’t want to face the day that I can’t get to you in time. All I care about is that you’re safe and you’ll never be safe if you’re at my side.” 

“I don’t plan on publishing that article. No one is going to know.” Karen said with a scathing bite of sarcasm to her words. “Is that really all this is? Because you’re afraid I’m going to wind up dead? Well, listen to this… I probably will die. One day. Maybe exactly how you picture it or maybe not. The target on my back has nothing to do with the Punisher and everything to do with the fact that I’m a person not dissimilar from him. There’s blood on my hands that I’ll pay for one day. Probably with my own blood. But that’s not here, that’s not right now. Right now there’s a blizzard and no one is shooting down anyone. I appreciate the sentiment, but I’d rather have you than good intentions.” 

Frank’s brows creased together. She had a point. They’d both die, one day, from something. She wasn’t pure as the driven snow and it was the fact that she wasn’t that actually drew her to him. Because  _ hell _ , no sane woman was going to go to the lengths she did for him. She managed to grab hold of that humanity in him and jerk it back to the surface.

He bowed his head for a moment in quiet contemplation before he met her eyes. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I shouldn’t have…”

“I don’t want apologies, I want you to finish what you started.” Karen leaned up and caught his lips, dragging him in for a heated, needy kiss, that blossomed with the need he’d been trying to tamp down. 

He needed Karen because she punched through his bullshit and made him seen reason. 

They stumbled back onto her bed and somewhere along the way he lost his boots and his shirt and she managed to get his pants down his hips most of the way. 

Karen took charge. He relinquished that control into her very capable hands. It was the best way to ease him into this. Letting go was new. Different.  _ Hard _ . 

But she made it seem so easy. 

“Let me help you remember Frank.” Karen told him as she straddled him, her hands exploring every inch of his skin, dancing over ancient scars, and curving over the lines of his abs. “I think you’ve forgotten that you’re still alive.” She was sitting right atop his cock, but her shorts were still on, keeping her from feeling him skin-to-skin to know that one part of him, at least, was very alive. 

Each time she rolled her hips he thought he was going to lose his mind all over again. Everything about her was enough to drive him wild.

Frank surged up to kiss her, lifting his knees behind her to make sure she was seated right there atop his cock. He was achingly hard. He wanted to be in her before he could remember every reason why he shouldn't. Why it was bad enough to be in her apartment and even worse to be in her.

Karen rolled off of him and his eyes snapped open, studying her face. He half expected her to be the one to regret this this time around, but that wasn't what she was doing. She was wiggling her shorts down her hips. 

He wanted to bury himself between her thighs and devour her. But that would have to wait because she was climbing back onto him again.

His hands curled around her hips as she lowered herself against him. “You're so fucking wet.” He marveled at the feel of her slick flesh grinding over his cock. “Is that all for me, babe?”

Karen nodded her head, taking his hands from her hips and guiding them to her breasts. Frank palmed them, his thumbs circling her nipples, trying to focus only on the way she responded to him.

“I need you.” Karen told him lowly, her hips rolling against him still, before she lifted up, her fingers curling around his cock.

Frank's eyes clenched closed and he groaned. It had been  _ so  _ long and there was nothing that felt better than Karen Page sinking down onto his cock until he bottomed out within her.

He forced himself to open his eyes. He wanted to see the look of abandon on Karen’s face, the way she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out as she started to ride him.

One hand slipped from her breasts to tease that point where they were joined, circling her clit and making her inner muscles flutter around him. He rocked his hips in time with each roll of her hips.

“Close.” He hissed out through clenched teeth, trying to hold back the inevitable. “ _ Karen _ .”

Frank worked his thumb over her clit faster, pushing her over the edge right with him. The clench of her inner muscles around him was enough to send him into oblivion. 

Karen cried out his name, the sweetest sound he'd ever heard. In that moment he felt somewhat whole again. More the man he used to be than who he was now. In that jumbled rush of sated lust through his system he was  _ just  _ Frank. For a few minutes. 

His arms engulfed her as she collapsed atop him. Their breathing seemed to fall in perfect sync. When she inhaled he exhaled and they rose and fell together. 

He could hear the muted sound of cars on the street below her apartment, sirens and horns, the city still alive despite the increasingly heavy snow. None of that mattered to him. Which was a first.

Frank’s hands curled around her hips, dragging her up his body, bringing her legs up to frame his face. His mouth found her slick folds, his tongue sweeping between them, circling her clit. He could taste himself on her and it made the whole thing even more erotic. 

Karen’s fingers jerked at his hair and he was glad he hadn't cut it shorter yet. It gave her something to hold onto as she ground herself against his face. She was still so sensitive from riding him, it didn't take much to make her tremble and clench against his tongue. But he didn't relent. 

His hands grasped at her hips, hard enough to bruise and leave his mark. His mouth was insistent, drawing from her every last second of pleasure until he was sure he’d pulled it all from her. She was breathtaking when she came. Twisting her fingers in his hair, tugging and causing fissions of desires to streak through him anew. 

“I  _ can’t _ .” Karen rasped out as she pulled away from his mouth, falling onto the bed beside him, curling close. “Too much.” She pressed her face against his shoulder, laughing breathlessly. “Holy shit.” 

Frank smirked, “That good, huh?” He chuckled, far too pleased with himself. It had been awhile since he felt that sense of male pride for something other than death.

“Mhm.” Karen pushed her now completely messy hair back away from her face. “You're good at that.” She traced her fingertips over his lips. 

“I aimed to please.” Frank retorted, tucking an arm beneath his head. He felt good. Better than he had in a long time. All because of Karen. 

“And you did.” She kissed his cheek gently, humming against his whiskery skin. “I should repay the favor.”

“It ain't necessary.” Frank assured her, but she already her her fingers curled around his cock, bringing it to life again.

He was impressed by how easily she moved after two orgasms. One had knocked his energy down a little, not enough to keep him from dining on her however. 

Karen laid down between his thighs, one hand encircling his cock while the other fondled his balls. Fuck if that little amount of attention didn't have him rising to attention. 

Frank tangled his fingers in her hair as her mouth joined her hands. His eyes were fixed on the sight of Karen, her tongue sweeping over the length of his cock, before she lavished the head with attention. He groaned, low and rumbly as she took just the tip of him into her mouth. 

Karen moaned around him, like she knew exactly how he liked it. The reverberation of the sound going through him as she swallowed as much of his cock as she could. What she couldn't take into her mouth her fingers curled around. God it was a sight to see. Karen Page spread out between his thighs, choking on his cock

He was so fucked up. And he didn't care.

“That's it baby.” Frank drawled out, his words rough and breathless. “Take it. Just like that. Fuck, Karen.” 

Her eyes met his as she worked her mouth over him, her tongue pressing against a sensitive spot on the underside of his cock and it was almost enough to make him come undone right then and there. “ _ Close _ .” Frank hissed out, his hips rocking upwards, driving himself into her mouth in time with the bobbing of her head. 

He swore he saw stars when he came. He wished he could live in that moment of pure, unadulterated bliss. Because in that moment there was nothing but him and her and everything else that weighed on his mind was gone. 

Frank sank into the mattress, completely sated. There was actually a damn good chance he’d sleep through the night and wake up without a crick in his back. “C’mere.” He mumbled, tugging at her hair a little as she climbed up the bed to join him. She curled into his side, draping an arm over his chest. “I’m gonna sleep, babe.” 

Karen laughed softly, kissing his shoulder tenderly. “Me too.” She sighed contently and so did he. “You’re nice and warm.” 

“Gotta keep me around when it snows.” Frank told her, pressing his lips to the top of her head as he felt himself starting to slip into that blissful place he hadn’t been in a long time. Since before carousel, before he came back from his last tour. It felt so damn cliche to even think of shit like that. But it was true. Karen… made him feel peace. She made him feel human. 


End file.
